Wild Cards - INN Daily

GANGLAND VIOLENCE ERUPTS ON AMSTERDAM AVENUE!

Midday Melee at Popular Automat Leaves Dozens Hurt—Detective’s Associates Caught in Crossfire

New York City, Dec. 14 — Midday diners at the Automat on Amsterdam Avenue near Morningside Park were thrown into chaos yesterday when gunfire erupted in the street outside. Witnesses report a black sedan roared up and opened fire on a passing coupe before a tremendous explosion shattered the café windows and sent customers diving for cover.

Among the injured were several well-known locals, including Mr. Fred Durkin, private operative and associate of famed detective Nero Wolfe. Mr. Durkin was reportedly having lunch with another Wolfe operative, Mr. Saul Panzer, when the bullets started flying. Panzer was unharmed but unavailable for comment at press time.

Authorities have released no official statement, though sources suggest the gunfight may be tied to ongoing mob feuds in the city’s West Side. Columbia Hospital reports that Mr. Durkin remains in serious condition. Police Commissioner Valentine has ordered a full investigation, though as one beat cop put it, “Looks like the rackets are getting itchy again.”

ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT CAPTURED — THEN VANISHES!

Woman Injured in Automat Shootout Revealed to Be Missing from Bellevue

In a twist fit for the funny pages, an unidentified woman injured in yesterday’s Automat explosion has been confirmed as an escaped patient from Bellevue’s locked psychiatric ward. Taken to Columbia Hospital for treatment, she was placed under arrest by police—only to slip away later that evening.

Hospital staff discovered her missing early this morning. A nurse told this reporter, “She was right here, cuffed to the bed. Next thing we knew, she was gone.” The NYPD has launched a citywide manhunt, calling her “dangerous and possibly deranged.”

Police urge citizens to report any suspicious individuals in the Morningside Heights area.

ADDITIONAL NEWS ITEMS

BROADWAY BRACES FOR DARK WINTER

With ticket sales down and several theaters shuttered due to sluggish attendance, producers are warning of “bleak box office returns.” The famed Ziegfeld Theatre announced temporary closures for the holiday season. “Folks are keeping their nickels for Christmas turkeys, not chorus girls,” one usher quipped.

EUROPE IN TURMOIL — HITLER MARCHES INTO CZECH LANDS

Berlin reports confirm that German forces have taken control of major Czech military posts following the Munich Agreement earlier this fall. British Prime Minister Chamberlain has declared the move “a misunderstanding,” while France remains silent. In Washington, President Roosevelt stated that “America’s heart goes out to the people of Europe, but our hands remain clean.”

LOCAL ROUNDUP

Snowstorm Expected This Weekend! Meteorologists predict several inches across the city by Sunday.
City Hall Lights 50-Foot Christmas Tree. Mayor La Guardia flips the switch at Rockefeller Center before a cheering crowd.
Subway Fare Dispute Heats Up. Straphangers protest rumors of a fare hike to a dime.
Macy’s Holiday Parade Declared a Success. Attendance estimated at half a million despite the cold.

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LADIES! GET THAT HOLIDAY SHIMMER!
New from Pond’s Cold Cream—the perfect complexion for winter nights.
THE AUTOMAT REOPENS TOMORROW!
Repairs underway. Free coffee with every lunch—because New York never stays down for long!


	INTERSTATE NEWS NETWORK Thursday, December 15, 1938 — Two Cents “All the News That’s Fit to Holler!” GANGLAND VIOLENCE ERUPTS ON AMSTERDAM AVENUE! Midday Melee at Popular Automat Leaves Dozens Hurt—Detective’s Associates Caught in Crossfire New York City, Dec. 14 — Midday diners at the Automat on Amsterdam Avenue near Morningside Park were thrown into chaos yesterday when gunfire erupted in the street outside. Witnesses report a black sedan roared up and opened fire on a passing coupe before a tremendous explosion shattered the café windows and sent customers diving for cover. Among the injured were several well-known locals, including Mr. Fred Durkin, private operative and associate of famed detective Nero Wolfe. Mr. Durkin was reportedly having lunch with another Wolfe operative, Mr. Saul Panzer, when the bullets started flying. Panzer was unharmed but unavailable for comment at press time. Authorities have released no official statement, though sources suggest the gunfight may be tied to ongoing mob feuds in the city’s West Side. Columbia Hospital reports that Mr. Durkin remains in serious condition. Police Commissioner Valentine has ordered a full investigation, though as one beat cop put it, “Looks like the rackets are getting itchy again.” ESCAPED MENTAL PATIENT CAPTURED — THEN VANISHES! Woman Injured in Automat Shootout Revealed to Be Missing from Bellevue In a twist fit for the funny pages, an unidentified woman injured in yesterday’s Automat explosion has been confirmed as an escaped patient from Bellevue’s locked psychiatric ward. Taken to Columbia Hospital for treatment, she was placed under arrest by police—only to slip away later that evening. Hospital staff discovered her missing early this morning. A nurse told this reporter, “She was right here, cuffed to the bed. Next thing we knew, she was gone.” The NYPD has launched a citywide manhunt, calling her “dangerous and possibly deranged.” Police urge citizens to report any suspicious individuals in the Morningside Heights area. ADDITIONAL NEWS ITEMS BROADWAY BRACES FOR DARK WINTER With ticket sales down and several theaters shuttered due to sluggish attendance, producers are warning of “bleak box office returns.” The famed Ziegfeld Theatre announced temporary closures for the holiday season. “Folks are keeping their nickels for Christmas turkeys, not chorus girls,” one usher quipped. EUROPE IN TURMOIL — HITLER MARCHES INTO CZECH LANDS Berlin reports confirm that German forces have taken control of major Czech military posts following the Munich Agreement earlier this fall. British Prime Minister Chamberlain has declared the move “a misunderstanding,” while France remains silent. In Washington, President Roosevelt stated that “America’s heart goes out to the people of Europe, but our hands remain clean.” LOCAL ROUNDUP Snowstorm Expected This Weekend! Meteorologists predict several inches across the city by Sunday. City Hall Lights 50-Foot Christmas Tree. Mayor La Guardia flips the switch at Rockefeller Center before a cheering crowd. Subway Fare Dispute Heats Up. Straphangers protest rumors of a fare hike to a dime. Macy’s Holiday Parade Declared a Success. Attendance estimated at half a million despite the cold. ADVERTISEMENT SECTION LUCKY STRIKE CIGARETTES — “It’s Toasted!” Less irritation, better flavor—America’s best-selling smoke! FORD MOTOR COMPANY — 1939 FORD V8 “Beauty you can afford to own!” See it at your local dealer today. LADIES! GET THAT HOLIDAY SHIMMER! New from Pond’s Cold Cream—the perfect complexion for winter nights. THE AUTOMAT REOPENS TOMORROW! Repairs underway. Free coffee with every lunch—because New York never stays down for long! © 1939 Interstate News Network — “If It’s In The News, The News Is INN!”